Marriage secrets

Dear Emma,

I drank too much at a party over the weekend and may have accidentally kissed a woman. No one knows, but my conscious is eating me up inside. I’ll never see her again and I don’t even know her name. I’m wondering if I should tell my husband and risk my marriage or keep it to myself?

—Guilt-Ridden

Dear Guilt-Ridden,

This is a good time to zip your lips, even if you (accidentally) might not have before. First, it is important that you deal with your feelings of guilt for something you are afraid you might have done (as Freud said, “in the fear is the desire”), but involving your husband in this is really just asking him to forgive you. Maybe on some level you think telling him will wake him up a little, maybe even intrigue him. What is concerning is that you think your marriage would be at risk for something you may or may not have done but possibly wanted to do.

—Emma