Intimacy in Marriage

Dear Emma,

I am not physically attracted to my husband anymore. I love him to death, but each time he touches me, I cringe. Any advice to rekindle those old romantic feelings?

—The Fire is Out

Dear Fire is Out,

There are all sorts of how-to books and workshops about relighting the fire. The first task, however, is to figure out what’s causing you to shut down. In my experience, if you’re repressing anger you also end up deadening everything else you feel about your partner. Talking about your feelings is the best foreplay. (But first you have to examine your feelings and figure out what they are.)

– Emma