plastic-surgery-womans-face-with-marks-and-hairnet

Dear Emma,

I’m in a fairly new relationship. Early on in our dating, my guy spoke about how bad it was that women felt like they had to get plastic surgery, the oppression of beauty, fear of aging, etc. Good feminist stuff, but I had had plastic surgery done on my eyes a couple of years before and didn’t say anything. I had my reasons – I work in a field where appearance matters, vanity, hooded eyes affecting my vision – but didn’t feel like I wanted to share this with him.

Now it’s been several months and I’m waiting for the day when a friend talks about my “face lift”. Any suggestions?

– All Eyes

Dear All Eyes,

Show this guy your letter! But first, it sounds like you still feel conflicted about your decision to have “work done”, and probably in judging yourself, are more vulnerable to being judged by others. You’re the one that has to live with yourself, and if you want to walk around in a new and improved face, it’s your choice. Assuming he loves you, he probably loves the way you look, your smile, and yes – your pretty eyes. But it doesn’t matter. Unless you’re planning to do a whole Michael Jackson number, this is probably no slippery slope but more a way to look more the way you feel about yourself. You may also color your hair, or wear pretty clothes, or otherwise try to shine. So enjoy your beauty, inner and out, and if you had to write a check for some of it, it’s time to make your peace with it. 

– Emma