emma-welcome-mat-with-feet

Dear Emma,

I was recently laid off from my corporate job of 10 years, and am being very frugal while I look for another position. In the meantime, my adult daughter says I should just live with her. She is married and has two young children. Should I give up my home? At 57, I’ve always been financially independent and I’m a bit offended, though I recognize her concern.

– Living In Limbo

Dear Living in Limbo,

Hmmm, two young children, huh? Free babysitting? Does she want you to trade your independence so she can have a little more free time? Clearly, I’m a bit cynical, but the offer – as seen from her side – might feel like a win-win situation for both of you, offering you a financial boost and allowing you to have a closer relationship with your grandchildren while giving her a bit of freedom. It does seem like she hasn’t spoken to any friends whose mothers or mothers-in-law have moved in “temporarily”.

A good friend of mine moved in to help out her daughter and save some money and left after a month with the realization that she really didn’t like her grandchildren after all. If you are broke, and willing to risk major relationship issues reemerging—she was a teenager once, I’m assuming—go for it. Just set clear limits and boundaries. On the other hand, she may just be trying to get you moving on your job search.

– Emma